I’m sure most of you have heard the phrases..
'if it's important you will find the time'
'It’s not about finding the time it’s about making the time!'
'Nobody is too busy it’s just a matter of priorities!'
'We all get the same 24 hours a day seven days a week, We make time for what we truly want.'
I believe every day is different.
Some days your top priority is work.
You have a huge deadline you’ve been working on for months, and let’s be honest here- working is what feeds your family.
Most days it’s all about the kids.
School everyday then after school activities.
Saturday and Sunday you pack the entire weekend with parties, community events and family dinners to catch up!
Prioritizing your children is expected. Prioritizing your work is justified.
Somehow when it comes to personal time, people always seem to have an opinion.
When you’re a parent there’s this stigma that your whole entire life
has to revolve around your kids.
If you go out to dinner and your kids aren’t with you people questioned it.
If you take a picture without your kids in it, people ask "where are the kids?"
If you go to the grocery store alone (heaven for bid) and someone runs into you, usually they’re like “oh my gosh, where are the kiddos?”
You rarely here someone say "hey, good for you mama you’re gettin’ some alone time! So well deserved! Here’s a coffee and 5millions dollars!" - ok totally joking.
“where’s the kids?”
“You have kids, what are you doing out so late?”
“Wow, you’re so brave I would never leave my kids when they’re that young.”
Well I bet you feel like a big pile of ... ya you get the picture.
I’m not going to lie- I’ve fallen victim to this.
Recently my husband approached me and said
“hey babe, the guys and I wanna go on a back packing trip before the snow sticks to the ground- just a 3 night trip!”
My first reaction IN MY HEAD was YA NO YOU’RE NOT GOING.
You’re not leaving me alone with the kids and the dogs for three days.
Sorry that’s not going to happen.
We have a 2 year old and a new born- YOU’RE A DAD! NOPE
I responded OUT LOUD in such a mean way...
“Babe, we have kids you can’t just take off and leave me here alone.”
I’ll never forget what he said
“Babe this is who I am. Yes, I am a father but I’m also so many other things. You fell in love with this mountain man. This ‘whenever I have the chance to get out into the wilderness I’m going to go’ man. Our children have needs but I do too.”
Ugh. Seriously, seriously UGH.
There’s not many times that my husband drops these truth bombs on me.
That’s when I stopped and I realized I needed to change my prospective because who am I to take away all of the things that I love and adore about my husband. Better yet, the things I brag about!
When you become a parent, the stigma is- your life is over it’s all about the kids now.
I want to change that!
I want people to start saying here you go- this is where life your life gets enhanced!
Now you have even more drive to keep thriving with all our your hobbies and what makes you- YOU!
It goes both ways Dad.
Just because she’s a stay at home Mom doesn’t mean she should be taken advantage of.
Things will be harder if Mom leaves- no doubt because she does make the world go round-but she needs it’s too.
Understand that hard work needs to be put in by both partners.
Make it work.
Make it happen!
Support each other!
Drown out what other people think and do what works for your family! Sometimes we just need to let people do whatever makes them happy. You do what makes you happy too and we will all mind our own business and live in this magical world where everyone is free to be who they want!
Remember all of your hobbies before kids and don’t let them become a memory.
Marriage, personal time and raising children takes respect, trust, commitment, friendship, faith and complete understanding.
What is your favorite hobby? Comment below!