Jan 21

Parenting Truths- The sh*t they don't tell you

2 comments

Edited: Jan 22

1. Everyone and their mom will give you advice.

 

 

They will even start off with “I know you probably don’t want my advice but... “

 

2. You will be wiping their a$$ forever!

 

 

OK obviously I’m exaggerating!

But no one talks about this!

Why! Why is that!

“My kid is potty trained!“

Yeah, but you forgot to mention your child screams

“Mom, come wipe my bum!“

”Mom, I’m done!“  

Every two seconds it seems like!

 

Potty training is no joke!

What you’re really doing is actually training yourself to remember every 20 minutes to take your child to the potty! You're really training yourself! Did you forget to take them potty before you left? You might be pulling over on the side of the highway! I mean when you have to go, YOU HAVE TO GO!

 

Then when they have and accident at home, you have to keeeeeep coooool and just clean up the smashed poo in the carpet and in between their toes!

It's a real struggle!

I've had multiple people tell me their day care helped them potty train their kids and all I have to say is you guys are heros!

NO ONE LIKES POO, let alone someone elses kids poo- YA I SAID IT!

 

I don't even know if that was proper English!

If you have any butt wiping advice, please drop a comment below!

 

 

3. They never want to eat.

Well, at least when and what you want them to eat!

You can get them their favorite plate cut it just the way they want and they will still take one bite.

Then 10 MINUTES later they turn around and ask for a snack!

 

Then they go through spurts where all they wanna do is eat!

Why do you do this to me!? 

It's a viscous cycle you see!

 

4. Newborn photo shoots are a lie.

 

OK, I'm kidding!

There's so much that goes on behind the scene that you don't realize. My good friend did a photo shoot for me when my daughter was two weeks old and it was a SHIT SHOW. I was stressed- Madison was crying, puking and peeing! She wasn't even fazed! She's like this is a normal new born photo shoot!

So when you see these magical photos of a new born, know IT WASN'T AS EASY AS IT LOOKS!

 

 

5. Your Child will want to go into a jump house and they will more than likely get stuck and you will have to go save them.

If this has happened to you, you're prob. LOL at your traumatic experience!

 

If it hasn’t happened just wait.

There will be a scene- don’t worry, you’re not alone! 

 

 

6. Your baby will constantly spit up.

 

 

Cute outfits, yeah maybe 10 minutes if I’m lucky.

You will constantly smell like formula (if your baby is formula fed) and you will most likely hold your baby facing out most days! 

 

7. Your entire house will be taken over.

Bouncer

Swing

Pack-and-play

TOYS. SO MANY TOYS. You will be picking up toys prob. for the rest of your life.

 

 

8. You might change/Go back on what you said you would never do.

Parenting is hard.

And let’s be real here, society as a whole- is judge mental.

Before I was a parent I was very adamant on my child having a sleep schedule.

My son is 3 and Guess what- NO SLEEP SCHEDULE HERE.

I also said my son would never leave the house in pajamas!

Once you actually become a parent you learn to not give a shit.

Don’t worry if your parenting style has changed or if someone criticizes the way you parent. Do what works for your family.

Just survive each day.

Give your kids a happy parent.

 

 

9. You will constantly worry.

 

Are they going to fall and smacked her head on something? YES

Are they breathing? YES

Did I come down on him too harshly? MAYBE

Am I teaching him everything he needs to know?

These are all valid worries.

You’re a good parent and you’ve got this.

This is the scariest hood! 

 

 

10. They will always want to sleep with you.

 

They don’t care about you during the day but at bedtime it’s hugs and kisses and so many stories!

We are a co-sleeping family, I’m pretty sure my son is going to sleep with us for the rest of time!

"What about your sex life?"

"There's more than one room in the house, Gina."

 

 

11. They will turn everything into a gun.

I’m not kidding.

A pen.

A hairbrush.

A coat hanger.

Little kids imaginations run wild!

Even at a very young age teach them the importance of safety of fire arms.

It’s inevitable.

They’re going to do it.

Teach them the correct way

 

 

12. Most days will be a shit show!

 

 

Most days you’re probably going to lose your mind, that's okay.

This is hard.

When they say “find your Tribe, it takes a village!“

They’re not kidding!

Find your people! Don't be afraid to ask for help!

They will help you keep your sanity! 

 

 

13. No one tells you how much you will actually love them.

 

Why?

Because it’s not something you can explain.

You can be so frustrated, and then they look at you and say, "I love you Mama." ... And everything is worth it. 

 

 

Did I miss one? Comment below!

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